6 Years of Missing You

Your mommy, daddy, big brothers, little sister, family and friends are remembering you intentionally today and every day, precious girl.

Mazie Leah, before God placed you in our arms, you were prayed over for years. Mommy and daddy hoped for a baby girl one day and God blessed us with you, our BEAUTIFUL daughter on April 30th, 2019. Your grandmother was your namesake and how perfectly fitting that Mazie means Child of Light. That is exactly what you have been to all who know and love you.

At only 5 pounds at birth, you had us all completely smitten and our love for you has always been immeasurable. And so is the contagious joy you were filled that will forever bless your family. Every time you smiled and gazed at us with your big, breathtaking hazel eyes, we were completely melted by you.

Your family misses you so much and holds on to every priceless memory during the 17 months and 21 days God gifted us with you. While we'll always wish for more moments and time with you, some of our favorites we cling to are holding you for the first time, your baptism into the church, sacred holidays spent together, going for walks outside, you singing as you ate in your highchair, seeing you grow through therapy sessions, hearing your laugh at your silly brothers and daddy.

Now, we dream of meeting you in our dreams, desperate to hold and see you again. Often, we ask God for signs and He gives us glimpses of you in every butterfly, dragonfly, sunrise, sunset and rainbow. In every 7 year old we encounter, we immediately think of you and are left with wonder of what you would be and look like today. Would you be into sports like your brothers or princesses and dancing like your sister? Without a doubt, you sent her to us as she talks about you every single day.

It has been six years of missing and aching for you, sweet girl. These six years of devastating grief has reshaped and taught your family so much. You have given us an eternal purpose of sharing your legacy with others and journeying along the stairway of Heaven. The impact you continue to make is remarkable, especially leading us all closer to God. You have inspired our faith to evolve, shifting our perspective to what matters most - leaning on Him, growing the Kingdom and time spent with each other. There truly is purpose in the pain and we are thankful for YOU for being our greatest teacher. The verse the Holy Spirit put on our hearts right away for you give us hope and encouragement.

No amount of time could ever lessen the acute pain of missing you and this day hurts as if the grief remains fresh. Maybe it will always be that way and not just because the many layers of grief and trauma continue to paralyze us but it's the love for you that will forever be greater. Some of that was delayed but to this day, the attachment of parent-child is incredibly present and strong. We are missing out on all of the what should be's - each birthday and holiday, you going to school, trick or treating on Halloween, participating in activities and trips with us and everyday life that could never be the same without our Mazie girl.

We are deeply grateful to the Lord for every cherished second spent with you, Mazie Leah. You are truly a part of every delicate piece of our fabric woven together and are in who God has transformed us to be and in everything we do. Though your time here was far too short, your light and impact will never fade. You will always be remembered and loved deeply by us, the lucky ones to call YOU, ours.

Until the day we see and hold you tight in Heaven, we will carry your love with us and honor your precious life here. Hold her close for us, Jesus.